Lady GaGa: Satan’s Bitch or Fashionista?

So today for Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday, I was lurking around Christian Chat Rooms (so you don’t have to) and I found this post, telling people that Lady GaGa was a Satan Worshipper and her video “Bad Romance” proved it.

“Greetings all,
Recently I viewed a very interesting video on Lady Gaga. Like most of you I was impressed with the sound of her music, and – while knowing that she is a heathen – I still am shocked to find out how blatantly satanic this woman’s act is. Her videos don’t even try to hide it.

Clearly we can tell that the end is not far away, especially when we see the boldness of satanic influence being peddled before us.

Here is an excellent film that shows the video “Bad Romance” in detail, describing the satanic behavior occurring in the video. Basically, Lady Gaga is giving herself over to satan to be possessed by him. This theme is actually occurring with increasing frequency in videos from other artists as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZXsTRrrjW8

There is more material I would like to present but this is enough for an initial post. Please watch the video and post your opinions below.”

Now I happened to watch all five minutes of the Bad Romance video as I was looking for songs to use in a video project.  I fail to see how women dancing around in  faceless, white latex Bart Simpson costumes, Lady Gaga wearing a chain mail hankie top or a pseudo bondage outfit is specifically Satanic.  Does Satan have the market cornered now on latex or bizarre fish costumes with 8 inch pumps?

Now I must say there was a polite bit of Satanic bitch slapping going on after the original poster uploaded the link to this very dangerous video.  (Note: the quote is lifted intact from the website.) Dan writes,
“If you watch that junk you open yourself up to be attached. As christians were sapposed to refrain from these things, not to go looking for a way to let Satan find a place to walk in. Nobody is without flaws, why would you want to give him the slightest chance. Look at how many strong christians in the past have done just that. We’re called not to be part of this world, but if you straddle the fence, you open to many doors. If you know that she’s under satanic influences why would you give her any credence.We either walk in Christ’s light or we don’t. In Christ love’ I just want to remind you of this.”

Good point Dan!  I mean you should never look at anything people tell you might be subversive or Satanic.  EVER!  THAT is how the devil steals your mind and makes you into The Artist Currently Again Known As Prince.

Now for the sake of fairness and to show you that there are some sane people on this board, I bring you this quote.  Dread Zepplin at least has the sense to make his points logically.

“I just watched the video with the commentary.  Let me first say yes, this video is very disturbing and has clear satanic themes. Now, with that said, the video with the commentary was making some pretty far assumptions about the symbolism of the video. Where he was dead on on a couple I had to laugh out loud by some of the associations he made. For instance: 

– when he says wearing sunglasses means shes hiding something and her leg up is strong sexuality. Really? because sunglasses were a sign of being “bad” (which she was portraying) and a leg up is…just a leg being up. Same could be said of Captain Morgan, but he’s not really that sexy.
– We he claims that when she’s being auctioned that its really her soul. No, when you sell a woman at an auction its for sex, which clearly happened at the end of the video. This is as equally disturbing as his assumption.
– When he states that she is crying out for Gods help. I really doubt they had God in mind at all creating this.
– jewls raining down on her…doesn’t mean satan. It just looks like a cool effect.

Lady Gaga is like Marilyn Manson in the sense that she’s a “shock” rocker. Thats why she wears the outfits she does- it’s made her famous. The problem is that each one she wears has to get more and more and more outrageous than the first, to the point of tastelessness. She’s definately a product of the world. Gross.”

WastingTheDawn seems to understand this bizarre latex, alien video the best of all of his Christian fellows on this board. “I think this is a basic secular over-sexed pop video … the over-sexing is really negative but to make devil-worship out of this is quite awkward?”

Thank you WastingTheDawn.  I had no idea who this Lady GaGa person was until recently.  Actually I didn’t get a good handle on her or her fashion sense until I saw her music showcased on Glee.  She has a good voice, engaging lyrics and the fashion sense of Bjork on steroids.  That’s her hook and ticket to fame.  Cool, whatever.  It seems the people complaining about her Satan’s Bitch status are the same people who insist that KISS stands for Kings In Satan’s Service.  I know better.  KISS really stands for Kids In Silly String, I mean really!

Just be thankful the rest of us live relatively boring lives and be thankful I didn’t post the column I was starting to write, “When Silicon Attacks” about a guy who shot silicon into his junk every day for 8 years until it is now the size of an 8 month old infant.  Yeah, that would have curdled your morning coffee and you’re welcome.

Spandex is a privilege, not a right

It never ceases to amaze me how not only San Franciscans but Americans on the whole are on the butt end of the fashion curve.  According to logic, you would think a country which has a great amount of personal wealth and is obsessed with acquiring the biggest, best and latest material goods would be on the cutting edge of fashion.

Through the centuries, people looked to France and Italy as being fashion forward examples of “what we want to wear”.  They could lose wars, they could slaughter heretics but we still forgive them because they look good doing it.  Of course, we don’t forgive the Nazis but they DID win the “Best Dressed in a World War” prize.  You hate to admit it but those uniforms were sharp.  Ahh yes, Hugo Boss still rocks it.  Granted, we had the Ike jackets which were pretty cool but they were the runner-up in the WWII fashion extravaganza.

Nowadays, I want to hope that the good U S of A would step forward on the global stage with something stylish, tasteful and perhaps “green”.  We could be fashion forward in our own way.  We could start by re-establishing hemp production for cloth.  We could be a leader but instead we look to the world like lazy bums that just rolled out of bed, put on clothes we have worn for 4 days in a row and went to work.  We use to wear hats, smart suits and shined shoes.  Now we wear pants around our knees, dirty knickers and underwear as outerwear.

We’ve talked about pajama jeans and leg warmers attached to flip-flops but I think the most nightmarish thing of all is incorrectly used Spandex.  Now Spandex is great for athletes and for exercise (to a point) and for costume capers.  Here is a good example of Spandex used responsibly:

OK, it is a little freaky but I can see this in a stage show or a night at one of our many fun SoMa clubs.  But things go horribly awry more than they go right.  First is the Cotton Spandex issue.  Cotton Spandex is more casual, less “gym”.  It isn’t shiny BUT it can get pretty thin when pushed past its legal limit.

The transparent butt look is never good even when you don’t have a huge ass.  It is tacky and just plain cheap.  I really don’t want to see your ass and why are you showing it for free anyway? Now if you want to talk Spandex nightmares there are always the banana hammocks favored by hairy European men on vacation in Brazil but since we’re not in Brazil, there are still manly examples of what not to do:

I know, it’s early, you haven’t had the 10 cups of coffee you need to process this but I could have put the female superhero picture up and trust me, this isn’t Halle Berry as Catwoman so be thankful.

Can we please just make a pact to eschew Spandex in public unless you are swimming in the Olympics, are a Romanian gymnast or are in the privacy of your own home?  We would all appreciate it.  If you want to rock your own style, how about developing some first?

Armageddon is Coming in the Form of TubeFlops

Thanks to the wonderful Diana for alerting me to this new fashion horror that crash landed on the planet last September.  Some mental defective who was sniffing too much glue came up with the idea of attaching tube socks to flip flops.  Yes, stripey tube socks ATTACHED TO THE SIDES of flip flops!!!!

The pajama jeans are bad BUT at a distance with your eyes all squinty, they can pass for normal clothes however this fashion monstrosity will never pass as anything but a really bad craft project.  Honestly, if you walk outside wearing these people will say “Look who was dropping acid, eating shrooms, and then decided to get all creative with a glue gun last night after taking the last hit on the crack pipe.”  They will laugh and then they will mock you to your face.

Don’t believe me?  Watch the promotional video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O32vGGh8Uk

BTW, hot chicks (like the ones shown in the video) do NOT wear these shoes and rarely get in silly string fights like this.  That is just for bad porn, Penthouse forum and bad promo videos like this one.  They are wearing these horrid things because someone PAID THEM.  Hell, I’d wear them at a photo shoot if someone paid me.  I’m a whore, I admit it but I’m NOT stepping foot outside the house in something like this without serious bank and neither should you!

Pajama Jeans: Satan’s Ploy To Enslave Us All

Yes boys and girls, fashion has taken a new nosedive to the bottom of the proverbial barrel.  I thought San Francisco was pretty fashion backward when you consider tie-dye, Birkenstocks, Crocs and braiding your underarm hair but that is another story all together.  I heard about this “trend” from down LA way and wrote it off as the new low rent fashion of the Inland Empire.  I was wrong.  I saw it alive and in person just the other day when I went out to get my cheap Easter dinner at Pasta Pomodoro.

http://www.pajamajeans.com/ is the website for pants gone wrong.  If you listen to the YouTube pitch, you will hear them throw around great phrases such as “The style of your favorite jeans, together with the comfort of pajamas!” or “Just because you’re busy doesn’t mean you can’t look sharp!”.  I particularly like them drawing attention to the top stitching, brass rivets and “European styling”.  So it has to look like it came from Europe for it to be worth $40?  Whatever happened to “Look for the union label?”.  Oh yeah, it died with affordable, low maintenance, high mileage automobiles with modern styling.

So here is the question: Are Americans Really This Lazy?

I say yes, Hell yes, yes and a bucket of chicken YES!  On the whole we are lazy, under educated, shallow people with short attention spans.  This is evidenced by the masses obsession with Brittany, Branjelina, Crustables and not knowing what the capital of New York is (it’s Albany BTW).  The people on the street know who Lady Gaga is (I still have no clue) but can’t name any Chief Justices of the Supreme Court(Ginzberg, Thomas, Roberts, Sotomayor, Scalia and Kennedy off the top of my head – I’m missing 3).  That is sad.  What is sadder still is people don’t dress anymore.  They look like unmade beds, they wear jeans to the office even if they are an attorney, they wear shorts to a formal wedding and t-shirts to Court.

We are living in a time when people will pay MONEY for a giant flannel bag thing to wear while you are watching TV but it has slits so your hands are free to talk on the phone or eat your cupcake in a cup.  So now people are so lazy that they want to wear flannel pajamas that look like jeans so they can roll out of bed and go to the Costco to buy a carton of Winstons and a truck load of spray cheese on sale.

WHY, for the love of God and puppies, did people think this was a good idea?  When you don’t take pride in your appearance, don’t you lose IQ points?  Isn’t looking good the hallmark of a civilized society?  I can only think that pajama pants in public is the first step on the path of anarchy, Satanism and dogs & cats living together.  Do you think it’s a good idea to wear PJ’s disguised as jeans because you are just too lazy to put on different pants?  Are flannel pajama bottoms acceptable in public as “everyday clothing” at all?  Am I just cursing the darkness to think this is nasty, low class and the beginning of the Fall of Rome?  Inquiring minds want to know.