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I Don’t Believe In Attention Seeking Fairies or My Life Tinks

Well it seems that the “me gimme mine” generation has made the news again. A teenager was denied entry into Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World because she was wearing a Tinkerbell costume. Her boyfriend was dressed as Peter Pan. This is standard practice and the park employees did provide them with alternate clothing free of charge though that did nothing to mollify the pouty teen.

Here is the story:

Here is the video:

Now here is what I see, I find it hard to believe in this day and age that two teens, who own smart phones, can record video and know how to upload it to YouTube are ignorant on how to Google items on the net or read the Disney policies on costumes posted on their website. I would be willing to bet that at least 90% of fans know that adults are never allowed in the Park wearing obvious costumes and especially Disney character costumes. the only exception is for Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party which is a separately ticketed event.

Do I know this for a fact? Yes because I’ve done it numerous times. I’ve dressed like Princess Aurora (in the correct color dress thankyouverymuch) and know the rules. I can pose for pictures, I can’t sign autographs, The Mouse has even assigned me a handler on my last two trips to get me disengaged from photo lines when I want to enjoy the party. I was even put on the back of the finale float under Malificent in Disneyland’s closing parade but it was ALWAYS during that Halloween party.

These outfit designs are Disney’s property and they have to right to defend their product. Let’s say someone dresses like Snow White, has a great costume, looks just like her and then is swearing like a sailor, making out with her boyfriend or girlfriend and grabbing some kids junk. This could present distinct issues for Disney. First it damages their brand. Second it opens them to litigation. They have every right to prevent people from dressing up like their characters except under specific circumstances that they control.

Sure little kids are ALWAYS welcome to dress up! No one is going to mistake an eight year old pixie for Tink. But this gal could be mistaken for the pixie even though her décolletage is a bit too large and prominent for the characters image.

I get it, she wants to dress up, she wants to be Tinkerbell, she wants that attention. News Flash: Life isn’t fair and you don’t always get your way. If you want to be Tinkerbell so bad, why don’t you audition? Better yet, why don’t you schedule your trip during Halloween so you CAN dress up? But no, not only was she denied her “dream” but Miss Faux Fairy proceeded to go on a video and whine about it.

From the DIS Board here is a quote from a woman who actually witnessed this at Animal Kingdom “We were there at AK on sun & saw her. She was in the middle of the park so got through the gate. When we saw her the Disney people were talking to her and she was crying. We thought she was a cast member. Then we heard them say she would get fast passes for the day. I can totally see why Disney didn’t want her dressed up.”

Now I have heard “she’s a kid, don’t be so hard on her”. She is a teenager. She has a boyfriend. She went to the Park on her own, perhaps even driving a car. She is old enough to understand there are consequences for your actions. You put on a costume, Disney said no, they gave her free clothes so she should have taken it with good grace, changed and enjoyed her day.

Instead she got on a camera, she got on the news (someone had to call them, Disney certainly didn’t) and whined and pouted about how unfair her lot is. Also where the hell are her parents in this? While she is a teen with some responsibilities, she is still a minor. Can she sign a release without her parents consent? Did her parents know about this stunt (both the costume and the ensuing video/news crew)? This whole thing stinks like Mr. Smee’s feet.

You want to be a pretty pretty Princess? Here is what I tell kids when they are crying that they didn’t get picked to play the Princess part in an interactive show I’ve been in – “Honey, I’m going to tell you something very important that will help you your entire life. Are you listening? You can’t have everything you want. If you want to be a Princess, that is wonderful! You can be a Princess all day long in your bedroom and in your heart but you will not always get to be picked to be one in public. We have to share with other people.”

So I DO believe in fairies, in magic and in wonder. I don’t believe in attention seeking whiners who are mad because they didn’t get their way.

Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday – Readers Suggestions

So today for Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday I have decided to give you a selection of the strange and bizarre that have been forwarded to me by readers (as well as another slice of Hawaii).

The first is from Mer, who knows I’m a Disney fanatic though not as much as this guy is.,0,3003319.story
Now I have three tattoos (none of them Disney related) and I have no problem with tattoos per say but I think this is taking things a bit far and I’m not talking about the ink. I’m talking about the obsession and the violence and the creepy.

First clue dude, you cover your body in Disney character themed tattoos.
Second, you fill your house with Disney memorabilia.
Third, you can’t hold together a relationship because no woman can be better than Disney.
Conclusion? Dude, you have a major psychological problem. This is evidenced by you assaulting your girlfriend at the “Most Magical Place On Earth” and then trying to weasel out of it saying you were just trying to talk to her. Yeah, because that kind of level-headed thinking involves violence.

I hope after this guy serves time in jail that he gets his feet glued to a platform in Small World and has to listen to that song for a decade straight.

I also have received reports of a New York City pet store banning drunks from buying puppies (which I think is a good idea. If you can’t drink & drive you certainly shouldn’t buy a puppy), some kids in Cleveland complaining that teens beat them up and robbed their lemonaide stand (that just sounds like normal behaviour for Cleveland but…) and an Angry Bird that keeps diving at people’s heads, talons extended (protecting her nest – no reports of a slingshot have come to light).

To wrap things up in the news of the whacked, I will give you another tidbit from the 50th State. I know, what could possibly be whacked about Hawaii? Aside from the 8″ long stinging centipedes which guidebooks tell you won’t kill you however the only cure for their painful sting is to stay drunk for three days there is Dog the Bounty Hunter and “the pineapple kid”.

No, the kid wasn’t made of pineapple! You see, I was at the airport on my way home. I found out you had to put your carry-on bags through another x-ray to scan for certain kinds of produce you were not allowed to take off the island. Pineapple is one of them. Now if you buy a “pre-approved, pre-packaged, pre-sprayed for bugs” pineapple, you are golden. If you are smuggling rogue pineapple you picked in someone’s backyard you have a problem. Well this kid had a pineapple. He had it… dressed up. Yeah, it had a baby shirt on and it was in a blanket. It was his buddy or baby or strange obsession because his Mother makes him dance “I’m a little teapot” for drunk relatives. I don’t know the background but I do know it wasn’t an approved pineapple. We was going to have to either (a) chuck it in the bin or (b) eat it before getting on the plane.

Confronted with the fact that he was going to be forced to either abandon/kill or consume his little friend was melting his brain. This emotionally unstable eight year old was having a fit in magnificent fashion. I should say this was a sugar pineapple. It is wee and not a giant Dole-style pineapple.

Other people offered to eat it for him if they could find a knife or a machete but that just made things worse. Part of me wanted to film this and stick it on YouTube where it would be guaranteed to receive millions of hits and make me an internet celebrity. The other part of me felt bad for the goober who obviously has other problems aside from playing pineapple dress-up. As I passed through the line I saw the kids mother talking to him. I pictured a story about taking the pineapple to a ranch to live with other pineapples so he wouldn’t be lonely. Dad was taking to pineapple away and the kid was waving.

He may have thought that pineapple was going to a ranch but we all know it was compost time. I wonder if they got the clothes back and told him the pineapple wanted to run naked and free. I kind of hope they did.

Proof That God Hates The New Tiki Room

January 12th, 2011, hot off the presses from Lake Buena Vista (aka Walt Disney World), a fire broke out in the attic area of the Enchanted Tiki Room attraction at 5:30pm. The sprinklers sprayed, the guests were evacuated, no one was injured, the firefighters doused the flames, big win all the way around.

So why is this a “Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday” story and why does God hate the Tiki Room? Because God loves me and understands, like I do, that the Tiki Room is an abomination that must be cleansed from the Earth.

Why the Tiki Room hate so early in the morning? I should clarify, this is the NEW Tiki Room. The original Enchanted Tiki Room in Disneyland is fine. No problems there. However in Florida, some whanker thought, “Hey! We can stuff Iago the obnoxious parrot from Aladdin into this attraction along with the more sedate (but unpopular) Zazu from The Lion King and rework it! It’s SYNERGY! They’re birds, right? This show is birds, right? BAM! We have synergy and product placement and it’s right by the new Aladdin’s Flying Carpet ride. See? We can sell a butt load of bird toys we wouldn’t be able to move other wise. See? It’s brilliant! Give me a raise!”

So they re-did the ride. The obnoxious Iago has taken over the Enchanted Tiki Room “Under New Management” with his wise cracking, Hollywood Agent manner with the staid Zazu to act as a foil. He also has the good sense, in an audio animatronic way, to look embarrassed.

I dislike this attraction and it’s not just because they raped a classic for potential stuffed animal profit. It’s because it was done so badly. Don’t take my word for it. Cory Doctorow from the blog BoingBoing agrees with me. In fact he says “I took my two-year-old daughter to the Tiki Room last week and within seconds, she was whimpering and saying, “These are the bad tikis. Don’t like them. Where are the real birds?”

That pretty much says it all. The show itself is not well done, the jokes aren’t funny and Iago is annoying and a bit scary. I know I’m not alone in wishing the place would dissolve on the spot. Well, God evidently heard our prayers. New rumors are surfacing that Iago was damaged beyond repair by the fire in addition to water damage on the perch that the birds are attached to. It seems Zazu sustained bad water damage as well. That seems to me, if the rumors are true, that the new birds were the target of this fire, Iago in particular.

No official determination on the fires origins have been made. However, I say “make lemonade out of nasty, feathery lemons” and make this attraction into something special. If you don’t want to go back to the original show, you can add new, original characters with a clever script. I call shenanigans on this whole “synergy” concept of plugging in minor characters just so you can sell plush toys and pencils that haven’t moved before. If you look at the Muppet 3D show at Disney Studios, you will see they invented a character named Bean the Bunny who is the catalyst of the whole show. He is cute, engaging, sells stuffed toys (Hell, I bought one!) and doesn’t take away from the whole classic Muppet experience. Do that people! Please let the idiot parrot remain fried and bring us a new character. I would like to suggest a stunning, peacock-blue parrot named Apollo.