Spandex and Hedgehogs and Twilight Tattoos – O MY!

Well today for Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday, I plumb forgot. I’ve been so busy with writing Disney Guide books and trying to find work and keeping the kittah from driving me crazy, I lost track of the days. Then BAM! It’s Wednesday.

It appears that “Spandex”, “Twilight Tattoos” and for some unknown reason “hedgehogs” are really high in driving traffic to my site so I’m going to incorporate them all together. It will be an experiment, like that nasty (and now defunct) Fantasia Ice Cream from Disneyland.

I did a search on all three of these terms together and got… my blogs. So I searched on images of all three of these items and got…

Yeah – Mork and Mindy! I guess because Mork from Ork wears Spandex, they are standing next to a twilight background, Mindy has a secret tattoo and Robin Williams has so much body hair, he’s been mistaken for a hedgehog on occasion.

For you young’ins out there, this was a very popular prime time show before personal computers, cell phones, hand held gaming systems, the internet or anything cool. People thought it was funny. You can feel free to mock us now.

Now hedgehogs have nothing to do with spandex or Twilight. They are just cute. Very cute.

That is if you like a little prickly ball tottering around the house. Personally I find them TONS better looking than Edward or Jacob but that’s me. Some people even like hedgehogs on their cakes though this one kinda looks like road kill to me:

Spandex…. Let’s face it, unless you are a super hero, you shouldn’t be wearing this. In fact, even if you are a super hero, you shouldn’t be wearing this. It just makes you look like a douche.
Lesson One:

If you are going out in public to fight crime as “Toilet Paper Boy” or whatever stupid name you’ve invented for yourself, at least CHANGE YOUR SHOES!

Lesson Two:

Don’t EVER put this costume on outside of the Castro on a saturday night. Umm, yeah. Just don’t do it.

Lesson Three:

If you’re going for the soooo not correct Stripper Wonder Woman outfit, at LEAST have a place to put your Golden Lasso! I mean how else are you going to tie up guys and make them tell the truth?

Twilight Tattoos – The Worst of the Worse – (At least for this week)

OK, so someone thought it was a good idea to carve into their skin the image of two arms ripping through their flesh, holing an apple over a chess board… Oh, I see! The arms are each coming out of a logo from each of the books! The Apple is the first, the blood splashed tulip is the second, the red ribbon is the third over the Queen chess piece as the last! Ah, that makes it sooo much better! No it doesn’t. The art sucks. The idea sucks and the person who drew this sucks. The idea is moronic and the art is juvenile but then again you might have gotten this done during eighth grade detention (which is kind of like prison) so fine.

Here is my favorite:

You take up your WHOLE BACK to draw a diorama of some B list actors, who aren’t even very good, acting in a lame story about abusive relationships that you wish was real. Damn! Well, all I have to say is “Thank You!” Really! Thank you so much for showing me how great my life is by comparison. Hey, if you like the tat – fine though a little advice… Lay off the extra gallons of Coldstone Creamery. If you put on much more weight, you are going to stretch Edward, Jacob and Bella out and distort them. You really don’t want to wake up years later wondering why you got Delta Burke, John Candy and Divine tattooed on your back.

OK, that’s all I’ve got. Have a Happy Hump Day! I’m back to writing about The Mouse!