The Royal Hat Parade from Across The Pond

Ugly hats from the Royal Wedding have been keeping me awake. I don’t know about you but if I was Kate, I would want to whack my new cousin Beatrice upside the head. Why? Just put yourself in Kate’s shoes. Here it is, your big day, and your web hits are getting upstaged by her horrid, ugly hat. Haven’t seen it yet?

I haven’t figured out if it looks like a giant uterus – or the Elder God Cthulu:

In the car, she couldn’t even sit up straight because of the height of the squid thing perched on her head:

One of my girlfriends made the observation “It’s very…. “flying spaghetti monster”. Perhaps Beatrice is a Pastafarian?” I think she might have a point there. Beatrice seemed determined to round out the Lindsey Lohan club girl look with smeary dark eyeliner. The thick kohl ringing her eyes makes her look like a demented raccoon on the furry end of a day long bender. It’s too bad her neck up look is a red-hot mess, the suit is lovely. I’m sure the person who had to sit her behind in the Abbey wanted to smack her upside the head as well.

It’s not like she has the best fashion sense in the world. Here is another of her “fascinators” where butterflies are apparently eating the Princesses head:

There were some nice hats though I’m not sure if the monochrome look was the way to go for this guest.

Those wacky Brits even put huge shade hats on the horses:

Oh wait, that’s the Duchess of Cornwall. I apologize to the beautiful, hard-working horses. Though to be honest, Camilla’s hat can double as a horses water trough.

It was a grand show. Now where is my double gin and tonic with extra lime?

Posted on April 30, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Hmmm…giant uterus? I was thinking more “decorated toilet seat” myself!

  2. What a snarky, bithcy post. The princesses are lovely and Beatrice’s Butterfly hat is wondefuly whimsical. And look in the mirror befor you criticize the looks of others!

    • Thank you! Bitchy is what I do best. I wouldn’t wear that hat on a bet and girlfriend should have looked in the mirror before she left the palace with the Clockwork Orange eye makeup. Just sayin’. It really distracts from her naturally pretty face.

  3. I must add that actuaLly Duchess of Cornwall looked one of the best but the fascinatorsssss ugh horrid for the most part but they are young and can learn better choices … I still say the hatmaker needs to be renamed to Anatole of Paris

  4. IIRC, the “guest” in monochromatic blue who you criticized is Princess Eugenie, Beatrice’s sister. So you took a swipe at the whole family. Wonder what you would have said had Fergie been there as well.

    • No, actually Princess Eugenie is standing next to her sister. While she is in blue she is not the tall lady all in monochrome blue. Princess Eugenie is in a blue bubble skirt with a blue floral jacket top that is not flattering on her and makes her look matronly. If Fergie was there, I would have adored it. I LOVE Fergie! I think the Duchess of York was one of the best things to happen to the royal family since Diana and now Kate. I think it was horrid of the Queen to snub the mother of her granddaughters like that.

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