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A Conversation with a Taco and a Toilet

What do you say when you meet a walking, talking taco and toilet coming down the street? At a loss for words? Yup, me too. For Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday I thought I would share a small slice of my weekend that is still sticking with me like those shrimp chips I ate last night when I was drunk.

I see a lot of strange things in California but even at an event where some people wear costumes, this takes the cake. No, it wasn’t Halloween. This was a semi-historical venue that was hosting a “steampunk weekend”. Still the costume optional aspect of this event should not have elicited the response of “hmmmm, let’s dress up as a greasy high calorie food and a crapper”. Though I do see how those costumes are a bit symbiotic in a disturbing way. Not even a hoop skirt or a pair of goggles could have helped this sad concept.

Allow me to share my surreal conversation.

Me: Excuse me but what are you?

Taco: I’m a taco and she’s a toilet. WE’RE FROM THE FUTURE! (Yes, that part was yelled in a lusty tone.)

Me: Did you lose a bet? (Actually I said “Didst thou lose a wager” but for the sake of ease I will translate to lazy American speak.)

Taco: Did you? (Good one. Actually I did but I wasn’t going to tell her that.)

Me: So good woman, what purpose do you serve?

Taco: I’m delicious. (Really? Better than Fois Gras? I think not!)

Me: And your companion?

Taco: She’s practical. (Nothing like being the wingman to Taco Girl. Actually of the pair I think the toilet is the one that lost the bet in the costume department. No self-respecting female really wants to be seen out in public as a toilet. It’s damn hard to make that costume “sexy”.)

Me: So then the both of you together are practically delicious! (I chortle at my wit. The taco looked confused. The toilet just looked uncomfortable. I wonder if she felt the need to use herself and the concept was flumoxing her. Honestly I would have paid money to see toilet girl trying to shove her faux porcelain mass into a portable john. Ahh, the irony of it all!)

The lesson to this story, don’t leave the house dressed as food or plumbing even if costumes are “admired but not required”. If you do, understand that people are going to remark on it. If you didn’t want the questions, you should have gone as Naughty Nurse Jessica Rabbit and called it a day.