Blog Archives

Vaginas – Do I Really Need One Hanging Around My Neck?

So today while I was working on book editing, I came across something that screamed “MORNING BLOG” because what goes better with your coffee, bagel and schmear than vagina jewelry? Yup, it seems that someone out in cyber space, was amusing themselves with Sculpy for fun and profit. They crafted a Va Jay Jay ring to sell. Here is the ad:

Okay, let me get this straight. $23 for a discreet ring of a Yoni? I don’t know about you but nothing says inconspicuous like a rainbow-colored pussy on your finger!

Now there are others who go for the neckwear version of giant sex organs to wear while grocery or shoe shopping.

I just don’t understand this kind of “wymin power” fashion statement. I know men can do some really strange things but I have yet to see a single one wearing a giant penis as a ring or a necklace. Penis jewelry seems to be mainly relegated to “joke” charms, candy necklaces for bachelorette parties and Mardi Gras beads. I don’t see men proclaiming “male power” by wearing junk jewelry. If they were that proud of their junk, they would just whip it out and show it off. Especially if they’re drunk.

I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. Do women actually buy these things? Do they wear vagina jewelry voluntarily and not because they lost a bet? Just for the record, I wouldn’t wear a necklace of my big toe either. It’s creepy. You know what else is creepy? Vagina cupcakes.

Is it just me or is this what Muppet Va Jay Jay’s look like? Come on, you’ve seen Avenue Q. Those puppets aren’t just for public television anymore.

Bottom line, if you want to be proud of your bits (male or female), I think that’s great. Be proud of them in the privacy of your own home. Please.