Man Shoots Penis With Pink Pistol
And THIS is why you don’t use your waistband as a holster no matter how many music videos or stupid gansta movies you have seen. It seems a 26 or 27-year-old Arizona man (stories conflict on his exact age but I would put his mental age at about 5) stuck his girlfriend’s pink pistol into the waistband of his pants when it discharged, striking his John Thomas and his thigh.
I’m not sure what is stranger, improperly holstering your firearm or being seen in public with a pink handgun while doing your grocery shopping. Before you start saying that idiotic behavior is the exclusive arena of red state gun-toters, I beg to differ. Stupid is universal.
Let’s look at the latest member of the U.S. Ski Team who was just canned. Robert “Sandy” Vietz, an 18-year-old mental midget, thought it would be cool to get stinking drunk on a Jet Blue flight and piss all over a passenger. His parents must be so proud! I have no idea what political party he might be affiliated with but my money is with none. I bet $20 that even if there was an election he could have voted in, he wouldn’t have bothered. Possible Federal charges are still pending in this case. Hell, if I was the person he piddled on, I would be demanding he be sold to the felon with the most cheese sandwiches or cigarettes or whatever passes for barter in prison. Readers, please take notes that it is illegal to piss on people that piss you off while on a airplane and this behaviour could land you in a comfy 12×12 bungalow at Club Fed.
So while the stock market imploded, lemmings scurry in hordes to whichever county fair Palin or Bachmann are appearing at, and Tim Pawlenty hopes to win voters hearts with free Dairy Queen Blizzards, I will just crawl into my little cave and wait it out. I have a case of good beer and enough high quality nibbles to keep me going for at least a week or until half of my things are unpacked in my new place. I really hope they have good food close by.