Bathroom Yentas: Why I Hate These Kind Of Women

What is wrong with women? Sometimes I find myself really loathing my own sex. Why all the sister hate this early in the morning? Well yesterday I ducked into the bathroom to snag a few minutes of peace, quiet and relief from all the Snapple tea I had been chugging and found little peace & quiet to be had.

As I opened the door, there were two women, completely blocking the sinks as they carried on a loud and annoying conversation. It seems the insecure, whiny one was complaining to her co-worker about her “insensitive boyfriend”. She wants to be able to whine, whinge, complain, cry and throw a tizzy and he is suppose to be “supportive” of this juvinille behaviour. He is not allowed to tell her to suck it up, deal with her problems or go unload all her angst somewhere else, like on her girlfriends or gay hairdresser.

No wonder even more men nowadays have “committment issues”. If I had to listen to that 24/7 I would join the French Foreign Legion… if I was French and a man. Do they still have the Foreign Legion? Anyway… here I am trying to do my business in relative peace but am now subjected to every loud, annoying complaint this she-harpy has. Her co-worker is trying to explain to her in a nice way that the issue is all her. How do you do that in a nice way? It sounds something like this, “But you need to see it from his point of view. When you don’t want to listen to him and all you do is dump on him but don’t want him to give you any feedback, he feels unappreciated and that you don’t need him so he shuts down. Do you get it?”

“But I just want him to listen to me and support me and not to say anything because I don’t want to hear what he has to say, I just want him not be selfish.”

HE is selfish? Really? I have no idea who these women are. They don’t work in our office and I feel “Public Shaming Girl” starting to come out. I just wanted to smack this weak-willed, annoying, whiny bitch. I wanted to tell her “If I was your boyfriend, I would dump your sniveling co-dependent ass. Who in their right mind wants to listen to this all day long? It would drive me to drink & obsessive porn downloads.” but I didn’t. I have learned that selfish, clingy women don’t see their public behaviour as bad form. They see it as their “right”. I have the right to whine about all of my relationship problems in detail and at top volume because it makes ME feel better and it’s all about ME.

I excused myself and tried to squeeze past their huge egos in order to wash my hands when I heard the phone ring. A phone was ringing… in the bathroom!

“Hello? Yeah… no, I don’t know where I’m going tonight but I don’t want to go to that lame club again. She did what?….”

Yeah, another women was talking … in the stall… while the female Dr. Phil session continued. I was horribly outnumbered by evil criminal masterminds and found myself without my utility belt. This is what happens when you make a quick dash to the loo after drinking too much tea. I know the howling wookie would have really come in handy about now or the screaming monkey. I determine the only way to keep my sanity and my freedom is to make a quick exit. Bashing annoying people on the head will get you 15-25 in a lovely women’s correctional facility no matter how justified you may think it is.

As I am turning to leave I hear bathroom stall girl, who is still talking, FLUSH THE TOILET and say “I’m sorry I can’t hear you, these annoying Yentas have been kevetching for the last ten minutes and I can’t hear myself think!”

The Dr. Phil women went silent as I opened the door. Would they learn their lesson? I doubt it but maybe next time annoying girl will choose another place for her pity party other than the toilet.

Posted on August 3, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. The clue in the “French Foreign Legion” is the word “foreign”. The Officers were French I think, but the squaddies were generally foreign. Foreigners were forbidden to join the French regular army, so the Legion was established to cater for those who wished to serve.
    And yes, it still exists.

    The “Dr Phil women” most likely didn’t learn their lesson but were utterly affronted that someone had been actively listening to them and then had the nerve to comment on their ‘private’ discussion.

  2. This drives me freaking crazy! BOTH things. I have never understood answering your phone whilst you’re in the loo. It is not only annoying to those trying to do what needs doing in peace, but also very disrespectful to the person on the other end who is now subjected to hearing any possible toilet noises. For the love of all that is holy, ignore the call/send it to voicemail and call them back when you’re out of the loo! No one else wants to hear your conversation or be subject to having their private moments broadcast to an audience.

    As for the talking women, this happens often and I find it annoying. Again, this is not the place to have this conversation. Go outside, go for a walk, do something, but do not stand in the bathroom and talk about your relationship issues, your diet, what you did last night, etc. It’s rude, and guess what? NO ONE ELSE CARES! I know, I know that’s hard to believe, but it’s true. Bathroom pow-wows need to be banished.

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