Public Schools – Weep For Our Future

It is a beautiful day out and I really need to get outside today but I’m depressed. I shouldn’t be depressed. I have two coupons Starbucks sent me. One for a free drink. Anything I want, any size I want, I could go hog-wild on the caffeine rush and a coupon for a free petite snack. Those wee bites of heaven are good, let me tell you. But no, I am weeping into my oatmeal at the state of education today.

Let me give you an example for Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday. This is a shot of some kids grade school homework. I’m going to guess it’s second grade. The child is supposed to unscramble the words into a sentence and draw a picture that fits. This sentence is about a goat and I will say this kid draws a real nice goat. It’s the sentence that disturbs me.

Now what in the name of all that is holy would possess a kid to come up with this rather than “My goat is in a pen.”? I know this is a boy because no girl I know would write that. However I would give him an extra point for creativity stringing Pen and Is together to make a brand new word!

I know, I shouldn’t bag on the deranged, future serial killer. None of us are perfect. Here is an example of my writing. My sister found it. Where? I have no idea. What was she doing with it? Again, no idea. We were talking about rabbits we had as kids by the names of Hoppity and Christopher. However in “archival writing” of mine she discovered, I’m calling her rabbit by another name. This led her to question her own recollection of her pet’s name. Honestly, considering all the glue sniffing stuff I was writing I would not give tooo much credit to the name change as you will see.

BTW – my spelling is for shit and was even worse back then. This is transcribed as written. My comments are in brackets. Don’t judge me.

“Me myself and I”

“My Family. I have two sisters. (nope, just one unless I was counting the dog out of spite) My daddy works at Mazerra, Snyder, DeMartini. (a law office) My Mother stays home when I go to school. We have two rabbits, one dog. They don’t get along together.”

“This is owr dog Queenie. (Yes, I wrote “owr” – actually, I wrote “are” crossed it out and wrote “owr” next to the picture of the dog) we have two rabbits Hoppity (the drawing is colored white) Christobelle (colored brown. OK, the rabbit’s name was Christopher and I believe he was black & white).”

“My Favorite Foods. I like poached marrshmallows. like fried snowballs, an oyster. I like eggs, pie. I like baked cakes. Hoppity, Christobelle prefer eggs. Hoppity, Christobelle are rabbits owr dog Queenie chases the rabbits all over. She will make them her dinner.”

(OK this is weird. I HATE roasted marshmallows. In fact I flat-out refused to roast a marshmallow and eat it at camp for a merit badge. Thus completely pissing of the Sisters and earning me detention. Why would I say that? Fried snowballs? Really? We never ate those cake snowballs as kids and you can’t fry a real snowball. I don’t think I ate oysters when I was that age. But I do remember the last sentence about Queenie making the rabbits her dinner. Weird.)

“When I Grow Up. I want to be a teacher, teach kindergarten. I want to correct math papers, write on the bord.” (I would never want to teach Kindergarten. I liked teaching 6th grade. Math? I was horrible at math. Why would I want to correct math papers? I couldn’t correct my own. Yup, definitely sniffing glue when I wrote that.)

My ever-wise sister pointed out the obvious, “Kids make shit up.”

Yup and they sniff those slightly damp mimiograph sheets and eat paste though I never ate paste. I was a page sniffer though. What are kids going to do now that all those purple worksheets are gone?

I suppose there will be less goat drawings.

Posted on April 27, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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