New Flash: God Doesn’t Care About You Winning A Reality Show
I have been a fan of Survivor since it first aired. I love Survivor. I love the Amazing Race. I love RuPaul’s Drag Race. I even watched The Real World & Road Rules when they were on. I know, reality shows florish because they are cheap to produce. Writers didn’t have to actually write stories. Studios don’t have to pay name talent salaries. They use real people who just want to be famous for being on television.
In fact there are people with actual lucrative careers because of reality shows. The Miz from The Real World is now a pro wrestler. Various personalities and forces of nature (plastic housewives from many cities come to mind) have made even more dough on the talk show circuit. I do draw the line with watching any show that features anyone named Snooki. I have no idea what a Snooki is but if South Park’s parody is any indication, Snooki is a troll-like animal with a boufaunt hairdo that humps everything in sight. Pass.
However, back to Survivor, this season there is a kid named Matt on the show. He is idealistic, naive and very, very Christian. A recipe for defeat in this cut-throat game especially when you are up against one of the best players of the genre, Boston Rob. The poor kid is out of his depth in the social and mental part of this game. Why? Allow me to quote from his latest rambling.
“First and foremost I’d like to congratulate myself for being the most naive person on Survivor.” Yes Matt, you are and you shouldn’t be patting yourself on the back about it. You are just too nice for this game. You need to leave now.
Then later, in the dark of night, he starts talking to God as he is wont to do. “I guess you wanted me to come back so here I am. I trust you, this is your will. You using my stupidity for your glory. So thank you Lord for this opportunity and blessed be your name..”
Matt, let me give you some advice. I’ve spoken to God and she wants you to know that she has far more important things on her plate right now than making sure you or anyone wins money in a game show. She also wants you to stop it with the Emo whining. It is unattractive. No one wants to hear it. The fact that you couldn’t “Outwit, Outplay and Outlast” a master like Boston Rob is not her will or anyone else’s. She also doesn’t need or require your stupidity to fuel her glory. If God’s glory were fueled by stupid, there would be a surplus in the Middle East right now so she doesn’t need any from your whiny corner of Niceraugua.
Why is it that people feel the need to appeal to a higher power for stupid things? This isn’t a case of my child was hit by a car or please help those poor people smashed by a wall of water. No, it’s help me do stupid tasks so I can win money. Really? REALLY?! People take credit for your talents, responsibility for your actions and stop asking God to win you game show money or one day you may wake up as a pillar of salt. She’s cranky in the morning without her Kona coffee.