Theatre = Danger

Today for Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday, I thought I would give you a few examples on how theatre is a dangerous job. Especially for men. Fine, theatre is taking your naughty bits into your own hands for everyone’s fun and amusement.

So first on the hit parade, let’s travel across the Pond to Scotland. According to the wire news story, “A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

Daniel Blackner, or Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf, was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.

The main part of his act was for him to appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member with a special apparatus.
The attachment broke before the performance and Mr Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.

He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and … hospitalization.
“It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed emergency room with a vacuum attached to me,” Mr Blackner said. “I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short-lived.”

Moving on to more “mainstream” theatre, I give you Puppetry of the Penis. Yes, two guys with elastic junk, twist their tackle into balloon animals shapes on stage for your amusement. A few of the skin sculptures they feature are the Loch Ness Monster, the Eiffel Tower, the wristwatch and (my personal favorite) the hamburger. Check it out. From time to time they audition for new talent.
(There is music on this site and while there is no obvious nudity, I would not open this at work.)

Now if you are considering doing your own version of public penis art, please keep this in mind. (A) these men are professionals and (b) your living room window is not a theatre. One gentleman from Washington was so inspired after seeing the show, he tied a string to his Johnson, waggled it in the window and tried to give a puppet show to his apartment building. Neither the neighbors nor the police were amused.

And to round things out, here is a squirrel attacking a toddler while his parents laugh. Hey, if you can’t be a shining example, then be a terrible warning. Honestly, I’m a little concerned about the parents who let this happen but that’s another story altogether. Kid, I’m sure you are in your twenties now. Make sure to get your sadistic parents to pay for your therapy.

Posted on April 13, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Margo Anderson

    I wonder if the parents were aware that squirrels can carry rabies and Bubonic plague, and that aggressive behavior is often a sign that an animal is sick?

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