Who Stole My Lucky Charms?

So today for Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday I wanted to quickly cover a few things that squick me out about St. Patrick’s Day.

First, let me say that I am Irish. My ancestors hail from County Cork and County Mayo. While we have been here for well over 100 years from that particular branch of the family tree, I will say that Irish people are the politest people on the planet. In my mind, that title was held by the Jamaicans for years. However a quick three day trip to the Emerald Isle has convinced me that the Irish are even more polite. I want to retire there, run a B&B and hang out in the pub, adding to the Guinness family fortune.

Let me say that while my people like their booze, there are a few things we Americans get wrong.

Corned Beef. First, it’s nasty in general. The only corned beef I could stand was cooked for me by Joreth at Nona’s in Pacifica. 99% of the rest – awful. Second, corned beef is not Irish, it’s American. Basically the Irish ate thick cut bacon and cabbage. When they immigrated to New York, they lived with recently immigrated Jews. THEY had the corned beef. It was what the Irish substituted for their thick cut bacon. So stop it with the corned beef. Everything is better with bacon anyway.

Leprechaun’s. They’re creepy. I know, they are solitary shoe making fairies who are grumpy and stash pots of gold. They have never been bartenders or shills for overly-sugared cereal, nor to my knowledge have they been serial killers.

Wearing Green. I am Irish. I don’t have to wear green on one day to show my support for Ireland. If you even try to pinch me for not wearing green, I will punch you in the junk. I won’t even go into the whole issue with the wearing of the green and how the English murdered men and women for wearing shamrocks to show solidarity against British occupation. They still need to get out of Northern Ireland and I have ancestors that are British as well as Italian.

Damn! Now I understand everything! I hate myself. Being Irish vs. English, Celt vs. Roman. Yeah…. Anyway, you can see where I come down on that discussion. Same thing, pinch me and die.

Green Beer. Why? I am not drinking any beer that you put food coloring in. That’s just nasty, plain and simple.

Bottom line, I am very proud to be Irish. I don’t need a parade, a holiday, an excuse to drink or the desire to hurl a little person across a bar to show my pride. This is what happens when you are born Irish. You don’t have to try so hard to fit in.

Posted on March 16, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. then there is the cop-out, “My underwear is green!”
    My answer, “Really? Ewwww!! You better wash them!!”

  2. Tony McCoy O'Grady

    Most of what people abroad think of as “Irishness” is an invention of America.
    As for the murdering – both sides have a long history of tragedy and insanity. They were, let’s remember, invited to come here – and more than one Pope sided with them staying! Suffice to say that too many people are prepared to kill and die “for Ireland” and not enough are prepared to put the same effort into living for it. We lack ‘real’ patriots.
    As for the Green Beer – as a recovered alcoholic I can attest to the wisdom of staying out of pubs on St Patrick’s Day, they’re full of amateurs who can’t take the pace. Too many rows, too much sickness and too much noise! Bring your booze home and invite some friends in.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: