Never Threaten People With Plastic Pleasure Devices

Especially cops. Today’s Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday story comes to us from Chicago, where the Chicagonow website reports and

“Carolee Bildsten didn’t pay her bill at Joe’s Crab Shack, so police were called. After telling police that her money was in her apartment, a short walk away, she was escorted to her apartment. Instead of coming out with the money, “she removed a ‘clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device” from her dresser, held it over her head, and approached the officer in a threatening manner.'” The officer knocked the dildo out of her hand and arrested her. This kind of slimy, snaky criminal needs to slide right on down to county.”

OK, let me get this straight, This woman thought it was a good idea to (a) eat food and not pay for it, (b) lie to the police and (c) try to attack a cop with a vibrator. Wow, that must have been some great party or drugs or crab because this would have never crossed my mind in a million years.

You have to be a special flavor of desperate not only to stiff Joe’s Crab Shack but to approach a police officer with a sex toy held in a “threatening manner.” How do you even do that? Do you turn it on first? Was the cop threatened by the fact that it was buzzing or that it was held aloft like a strange spear or was he threatened because it resembled a penis? This got me thinking. Is this a regular type of attack that police officers have to deal with?

According to the Herald Sun in Australia, “A man has attacked a police officer with a dildo at the Bathurst 1000 motor racing event while another man has been caught showing porn. And both have been thrown out of the the major annual racing event, police say. A 22-year-old Moss Vale man was arrested shortly after 10pm (AEDT) yesterday after launching himself at a male police officer sitting inside a police car, hitting him on the head with a sex toy. The officer was not hurt, but the man has been charged with assaulting police. ”

I hate to think with all the crap cops have to deal with every day, they would now have to deal with this. Honestly, not only is the whole situation creepy but it’s unhygienic as well.

Posted on November 17, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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