Carnival Cruise Crippled, No Surfing For Cruisers! The Horror!


On Monday night, an engine fire crippled the Carnival cruise ship, Splendor, off the coast of Mexico. No one was injured. The ship finally limped into port in San Diego four days later, towed by tug boats. Now I’m sure it was certainly not the Mexican Riviera vacation these people paid for but was it a horror show?

Let’s look at the facts. The ship does have auxiliary power. Toilets and water were restored Monday night and remained operational throughout the trip. What was the problem? There was no air conditioning but that hardly matters in the Pacific in mid-November. No hot food service. Fine, that’s a pain but you can survive just fine without hot meals. No hot water. Again, it’s a pain but you do have water. Sure, it’s cold showers but you can shower, you can drink, you’re not going to die. You can deal with no hot water for a few days. The telephones and internet were knocked out. DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN!!!!!! THE HORROR! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITHOUT FACEBOOK?!! You want to know real horror? Real horror would have been if there was no plumbing! No food and no water at all! Now that would have been a horror show.

No internet or phone? Really people? There are some resorts that bill this as a perk and people pay a great deal of money for it. Granted, some food options were out since they needed heat to prepare but that leaves a ton of other options. Fruit, veggies, pate, sushi, cereal, ice cream, pie, sandwiches, beef tartar, hummus, cheese, the options are endless.

I know there was only enough food to last a set amount of time but people, it’s a CRUISE SHIP! Have you ever been on a cruise ship? I have. They have a shit ton of food! There is breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, tea, snack, ice cream social, dinner, midnight buffet. I think three moderate meals a day to stretch the food is PLENTY! Hell, you roll off a cruise ship with five extra pounds at least if you graze throughout the day.

A quote from the San Francisco Chronicle says “Passengers have been drinking cold water and waiting in line to eat sandwiches and other cold food since the Splendor lost power on Monday during a Mexican Riviera cruise out of Long Beach.” To me that is hardly worthy of more than “We’re sorry, here is your money back. Now how wants to play bocce ball?” Did you know the Coast Guard dropped food? That’s fine but do you know what they dropped? Canned Crab, Croissants, Pop Tarts and Spam.

Think about that for a minute. What a combination. Now ask yourself, if there was another disaster – let’s say fifty guys were stranded on an oil rig – would they be dropping tinned crab, Pop Tarts and croissants? CROISSANTS? REALLY? I’m sure they would drop the Spam, it’s a military stand-by.

Aside from getting food, which is an issue but face it, they weren’t that far from home, the biggest complaint was the lack of internet. People, what would you do if the grid fried tomorrow and you were booted back to the Golden Age of Cruising or at least the nasty 80’s? Stop being pussies! You can live a few days without being plugged into the net. In fact, you might actually have to TALK to people. Carry on a conversation. Read a book. Enjoy the ocean. Talk to other people. Oh, the horror.

You want to know what would have been worse? Unloading you in Mexico and trying to get your asses across the border without being kidnapped by drug lords. THAT would have been worse. There was talk about getting busses to transport people if they had to dock in Ensenada, They were trying to figure out how much of a military presence they would need to secure the safety of the passengers, whether they could get US military to assist and get co-operation in border crossing. Okay, dealing with that would have been a nightmare. Sitting on a luxury ship, eating tinned crab on a croissant, reading a book and watching the ocean? I can think of worse ways to spend a few couple of days.

Posted on November 12, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Hello, I’m Jimmy and I am an Internet Addict. I last used the Internet today and all I can think about is when I get to use the Internet again.

    Sorry, gonna have to side with the tourists on this… Carnival should string a phone line behind every ship so that if something like this happens we have at least 9600baud connections… “just one fix” is all I would need… I’d make it last…

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