Halloween: The Rise and Fall of Stupid
(I wrote this on Monday, was positive that I scheduled it to publish but I guess not. So here it is for Friday, just understand it was written Monday. I am a total dork.)
I wanted to write a whole fabulous blog on Friday about Halloween and then write a witty blog today for the election tomorrow. What do you get? Less than that. Why? Today starts NaNoWriMo. What is that? I’ll blog about it later, suffice it to say I will be spending the majority of this month writing my new book, working title: Deirdre Does Disney: An Irreverent Look At The House Of Mouse. As a result the blogs will be shorter and I will have some “vintage blogs” to give me more writing time.
Also my schedule is all whanked up. I have two ideas I wanted to write about. The first is the idiot trend away from trick or treating due to moron parents who want to wrap their kids in bubble wrap for no reason and the second is idiot, slutty costumes. I’m just going to tackle one today and I’ve picked…
Yes, we have all seen the female slut party that Halloween has turned into. There are micro mini dress versions of Bo Beep, Hermione Granger, Nurse, Snow White, Cinderella, Meter Maid, French Maid, American Maid. You name it and chances are, there is a slutty, crack whore version of that costume. Granted, they are usually worn by girls 16-28, weighing about 90 pounds but that doesn’t stop some large gals from getting in on the micro mini Hogwarts craze as well. To me they are all equally bad. Whatever happened to clever? To scary? To clothes in general? I mean, this isn’t Mardi Gras. THAT is the holiday for getting drunk, naked and stupid though New Orleans residents will also argue that point as well.
But having a slutty costume isn’t limited to the girls (though they do tend to lead the pack). Boys can be sluts too! Hence the picture of Mr. Pizza. Please, don’t open that box because I really don’t want to see that sausage pizza. Oh the jokes abound! Pepperoni is too spicy for me to eat personally. If it doesn’t come in 10 minutes its free. Is cold limp pizza still good pizza? Don’t get me started. I’m pounding coffee today and I’m not a coffee drinker. It’s making me crazy and manic. I don’t know how you scary people do this every day.
So should we go back to old school Halloween costumes and leave the vienna sausage/spandex parade for the French Quarter or should we declare a separate “Get Your Slut On” holiday? I’m sure if there was money to be had (there is) and Hallmark can get behind it (why not), we can make it happen.