The Subject Of Mens Crotches Is Never As Simple As It Seems…


Why a cute hedgehog? Because a picture of a bulging crotch is too easy.

So today for Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday I was going to talk about one of the most ignorant people I’ve seen in a while but that blog turned out to be too long and I have things to do today so it will have to wait until next week.

Today I decided to go with something easy. Mens Crotches. I typed into Google “Men who stuff their crotch” and got the following results

1. Why do some guys grab at their crotch?
2. Why are women expected to shave their crotch?
3. Is it normal to look at a guys crotch when they sit and open their legs?
4. Why do men find it so cool to scratch their testicles in public?
5. Why do wrestlers rub their crotch in my face when I wrestle them?
6. Do male underwear models stuff their crotch?

So many jokes, so little time. Granted, most of these results were returned from Yahoo Answers. So I will give you my answers to these pressing questions.

1. Why do some guys grab at their crotch? Who knows? Some are just adjusting their dinosauric junk. Some are insecure. I knew one guy who use to just casually hold his junk like it was a teddy bear or something. The fact that he did that inside his pants…. yeah but it appeared to be a security thing. He had Mommy issues. Maybe she burned his teddy at an early age and he never got over it. Maybe he feels if he doesn’t hold onto it, it will run off or spontaneously combust or someone will chop it off. Again, who knows?

2. Why are women expected to shave their crotch? I know, this is a girl question but it did come up. Answer – women are not expected to shave. It is a personal choice. Now some guys might like it or think it’s normal because that is the trend in porn or whatever. Bottom line, it’s her decision. Just like some guys shave. Why do some gals shave their arm pits and some don’t? Same thing. What do I do? None of your business.

3. Is it normal to look at a guys crotch when they sit and open their legs? Yes. Not because I’m a perv but because it’s just there. Like a mountain or road kill or something similar. I was on a shuttle once, a guy was wearing no chonies and it was peeping out of the leg of his dolphin shorts… LOOKING AT ME! I screamed. Hey, I could have been a virgin or something! Dude, not cool! Bottom line, you can’t help but look.

4. Why do men find it so cool to scratch their testicles in public? I don’t think they think it’s cool. I don’t think they really think about it at all. It’s kind of like belching or farting or jumping up to hit an awning. It’s just automatic and has nothing to do with anything sexual.

5. Why do wrestlers rub their crotch in my face when I wrestle them? Wow. Ummmm, yeah… I got nuthin. There are all the gay jokes but that is too easy. Personally I think the question that was posted is bogus troll bait but if it were genuine to me it’s obvious this was a blatant dominance move to throw this guy off his game because he is an obvious homophobe. Guys know it freaks you out so they do it to mess with you. Guys do shit like that all the time.

6. Do male underwear models stuff their crotch? Hmmmm, I don’t know if they do. With female models you can tape your boobs higher or together or have them in a padded bra but if you are modeling briefs I don’t see how you can put a hamster down your pants and make it look real. I guess you could get a prosthetic device like Marky Mark used in Boogie Nights if you have really small junk or a cock ring to enhance your goodies. I’m sure that would sell more chonies in the pages of American Male. Not so sure about Sears or JC Penny’s though.

Now I dare you to go through your day and not stare at random guys junk and think about one of these things. I double dog dare you!

Posted on October 27, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Fiona Fairebrat

    While working as bailiff for the late Judge Cunningham, we were assigned a case where a wee pervert was arrested for indecent exposure in a local Barnes & Noble. He was walking around the store with shorty shorts on and a fake penis taped to his leg, hanging out the shorts by a good 4 inches.

    While the good citizens were outraged by his actions, it seems there is no law against shaking a fake tallywacker in public. Charges were dropped.

    So for all you closet flashers out there, strap on!

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