Does Jesus Need Telemarketers? Hell No!

So today I was clearing crap off my answering machine which normally consists of collection calls for Geraldo Munez, political recordings and people wanting me to refi my non-existent house, I found this:

Hello, I’m Pastor Hayes, Pastor of the Hurricain Bible Church, home of Truth and Liberty schools. Dear friends we want to be a blessing to you. First of all, realize that God loves you and died and shed his blood and rose again for you. And right now you can receive Christ as your saviour, just say, ‘Lord save me, Lord forgive me’ and he’ll do it. And then pick you phone right now and call me at area 703-722-1078 and we’ll get back with you. God bless you.”

Really? REALLY?! I had no idea that telemarketing religion was now the thing to do. I suppose it was only a matter of time before the evangelicals discovered technology.

Now if, according to Pastor Hayes I say “Lord save me, Lord forgive me” and he does, then why do I have to call Pastor Hayes? I’m already saved!

From a business point of view, I fail to see how this type of scattershot marketing does any good for your organization. The majority of people in our day and age are smart enough to pick their own religion or to have no religion. I doubt that many people will be lured in to joining a Church in West Virginia solely based on this phone call.

From a legal standpoint, my number is registered on the National No Call list. Even if Gerald, who apparently had the number years before me, is not on the list, I am and I will be filing a complaint with the FCC.

I admit I have a cold, am cranky and really want a houseboy to bring me fresh squeezed juice and clean my house right now so maybe I am over reacting.

Nah! Pastor Hayes, don’t call my house anymore. Jesus told me you need to stop bothering people when they are sitting down to eat or watching The Apprentice. Thanks!

Posted on October 22, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Wow. 703 is Northern Virginia area code. Also, don’t waste your time with the FCC. National No Call List is to stop calls from telemarketers asking for money or selling stuff (although it excludes certain charitable orgs and orgs you’ve “authorized” to call you – by donating money to them). Since Pastor Hayes didn’t ask you for money, legally he’s not violating the law.

  2. What a great comment. I’m about to send him one of my own.

    Be well and take care… and remember, Pastor Hayes wants your money, so that he can continue to tell you that God loves you, and ask you for more cash to help him to keep spreading the word… and collecting even more money.

  3. P.S. I should have mentioned that he called me last week. I’m in New York City, so it sounds to me as if he’s working his way north.

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