Labor Day Food: The Perfect “B” Diet

Well, today is Labor Day.  Before all of you run off to stake out your spot in the local park, inflate a bounce house, char some hot dogs and play frisbee, let’s talk about the most important part of this holiday.  Food.  I know, we are suppose to be celebrating American workers.  However, what can be more American that American food?  American workers made it.  Some of it.  I’m sure.

So for your edification, I present the B diet.  It is for holidays, celebrations and days when you need a little extra love only.  It consists of Beer, Butter, Bacon, Beef and Better not forget the cheese! I know, cheese doesn’t begin with a B but the “BC diet” sounds pre-historic and the “B and sometimes C diet” is a bit long.

I have decided that while I am eating healthy, there is no reason not to incorporate all the basic food groups into your daily food regimen. So here is my B Food Group Diet.

BREAKFAST:
Beer: Always a breakfast staple, especially if you choose Guiness – the Chewy Breakfast Beer of Champions or a Double Chocolate Oatmeal Stout. There is a lot of good stuff in there! Hops, grains, good roughage for your intestines and good for your digestion.

Bacon: 2 strips, nicely fried in some butter. Mmmmmm, nothing like butter flavored bacon fat. Remember that pork is a lean white meat. You can pair this with a little toast with butter. Avoid the white bread. It is full of nasty filler. Top with a slice of cheese. That is the Dairy Group and the government says you need to eat Dairy.

LUNCH:
Beer: I recommend a nice light pilsner to pair with a Bacon, Beef and Brie Sandwich. For extra health points, have a slice of tomato with it. Omit the mayo and substitute a nice horseradish mustard.

DINNER:
Beer: mmmmmmm, I would choose a full bodied dark ale to drink with your…. Roast Beef Wrapped in Bacon! MMMmmmmmm. That nice red meat gets your fight or flight chemicals going and adds to your edge and we all need edge. Face it, who wants to go though life with the edge of a rabbit. Rabbits just sit around all day, afraid of their shadow, shagging at light speed because they know something is going to eat them any second. Carnivores can shag at leisure and often because they are at the top of the food chain.

NOTE: Well done meat = burned meat = BAD FOR YOU. If you want to burn a perfectly good piece of meat, don’t even bother eating at my house.

OK, there is the New B Food Diet – Day 1. I wonder if I could sell this?

Posted on September 6, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Yes. But meat; their must be meat.

    See: http://bit.ly/9BD4aI

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