Booty Pop Panties: The Push-Up Bra For Your Ass

So today for Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday, I bring you the next idiotic fashion statement to come down the pipe: Booty Pop Panties.  Correct me if I’m wrong but I thought “Does this make my ass look big?” ranked near the top of the worst question a man could get.  Wow, guys!  I guess now you can say “Yes, yes it does!” without getting something thrown at you since having a huge bubble booty is obviously “IN” now.

However, the perils of a perky bottom are many.  Here is the warning straight from the web site, though the comments in parentheses are my own.  “WARNING: Wearing Booty Pop panties has been known to make men notice.  The makers of Booty Pop panties are not responsible for all the extra attention you will receive as a result of wearing our product (Notice, they didn’t say what kind of attention).  Subsequently the hiring of, and the costs related to, additional personal security is the sole responsibility of the Boot Pop customer.”  (Really?  REALLY?!  I wear your push-up butt panties and I’ll need an entourage to keep sex-rabid men off me?  Perhaps the security guards are to beat back the laughing, mocking hoards?)

Now don’t get me wrong, the Fickle Finger  of Fashion has not decreed, Big Bubble Booties for All!  Oh, no, that would be too easy!  It seems these Booty Pop Panties are for those unfortunate girls who have flat boy butts.  This way they can fill out the back of a pair of jeans and balance their enhanced boobs, setting off their tiny waist.  It is still “Big Girls Need Not Apply” in the world of Fashion, Booty or otherwise.  Just so you know, the sizes are only available in small, medium and large, which roughly translates to a size 14 cap.  I guess they figure bigger gals have their own big booties and don’t need a fake one.

Another quote from the website “There was a time when women would do almost anything to minimize their buttocks, from wearing girdles, control tops and rigid shapewear. Today, women of all ages seek that bootylicious look that our pop culture has embraced in celebrities, music and fashion.”  I guess you could be a woman of any age but not just any weight.  This is still a thin woman product.

Don’t believe me?  Listen to these testimonials from satisfied Booty Pop women:

http://www.buybootypop.com/scripts/cgiip.exe/WService=bootypop/story.html?article=5543

Yet again, the False Advertising aspect comes into it.  Here is the fact.  There are guys out there that LIKE big butts.  Hell, Sir Mix-A-Lot wrote a song about it and he can not lie.  They are into the booty and that’s cool.  If a guy is attracted to your popalicious booty, then finds out at a private moment that juicy booty was padding and your ass is as flat as the great country of Texas, he’s going to be disapointed.

Ladies, how about this?  How about we all decide to be good with the way our bodies are?  Skinny, curvy, bubble booty, huge… tracks of land, everyone should stop listening to the steady stream of media hype that makes women even more insecure.  The last thing we need is another product making us hate ourselves and whispering how we’re not good enough.

Posted on September 1, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I wonder how I would look if I wore booty pop, under pajama jeans? Would it be the holy grail of both comfort and tackiness, all in one! I think I’m going to try….

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