Facebook Attention Whores: Apply Here

Facebook has been a boon and a curse to society.  According to their website statistics, Facebook currently has:

  • More than 500 million active users
  • 50% of our active users log on to Facebook in any given day
  • Average user has 130 friends
  • People spend over 700 billion minutes per month on Facebook

I would like to propose that out of 500 million people, 5 million of them at least are insufferable attention whores.  This is the dark side of posting all the inane points of your life, like “Having eggs for breakfast with.. CHEESE!” or “My trash is falling over, guess I’ll have to take it out.” or “Took the dog for a walk, the sun was great.  Perhaps the cute guy at the dog park will ask me out?”  The attention whores take this slice of life even farther.  They leave cryptic messages.  Not just once or twice but all the time.  Think about it, how many of your friends post things like “sigh, so sad” or “sob” or “why is life doing this to me?” at least ten times in the past month?  News Flash: If you post things like this all the time with no explanation you are an attention whore.

Stop it.  It’s annoying.  You know deep down you are doing it just so people will post “hugs” or “whats wrong?” or some other expression of cyber sympathy.

One of the biggest contributors to this are the people who misuse the “relationship status” regularly for their own attention whore ends.  It usually happens like this.  A couple get in a fight.  Let’s make this a boy/girl couple because it’s usually the woman who runs on Facebook to start “the Drama”.  She changes her relationship status from “married” or “in a relationship” to “complicated.  The guy does nothing to his status because he doesn’t care.  This is what usually happens:

1) The immediate cyber sympathy faucet turns on.  People start posting “hugs”, “are you OK?”, “what’s wrong?”  This starts to clue people into the personal drama storm in someone’s personal life.  Before the internet you might hear rumors over the backyard hedge and a bowl of ambrosia at a BBQ but now the dirty laundry is flying free for all to see and wonder about.

2) The questions start.  Now people start sending the guy private messages wanting to know what’s wrong.  He ignores them or says nothing.  Even if it was something, guess what people?  It’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!  If it was, he would have reached out to you for some assistance in handling the issue that started the fight in the first place.

3) The other “man-sharks” move in.  Scenting blood in the water, other available suitors start circling, thinking the attention whore girl will dump her husband/boyfriend and bang them instead.  Dudes, even if she did dump the partner in question, do you really want in on this kind of freaky sideshow?   If there is one cardinal rule, it is “don’t bang The Crazy!”

4) Having gotten all the attention she wanted and the guy now sick of the idiot emails, he apologizes and she puts her status back to what it was before and “laughs off” the whole incident.  However, the damage is done.  The man-sharks are on alert, your friends still look at you funny and you just stirred up a lot of drama for nothing.

Think I’m exaggerating?  Here is a lovely piece about Facebook dating that I found delightful: http://www.fitdarcie.com/how-facebook-is-changing-dating/

What should you do?  How about don’t even publish a relationship status?  I mean, honestly, why do you need to?  If you are married, your friends know it.  If you are dating, your friends know it and the rest of your cyber friends really don’t need to know when you are dumping one girl and then hooking up with another.  Humans are inquisitive monkeys and if we are bored, we will seize on any source of unrest for entertainment, why give people more ammunition?  Also, if you are one of these people who keep changing partners like socks, post all the details, then complain when you don’t get the reaction you want, stop waving your dirty laundry around in public.  If you don’t want people judging your knickers, take them off the fence.  It really is that simple.

Posted on August 20, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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