Roller Skate Shoes – Yet Another Sign Of The Apocalypse
Posted by sargentspeaks
I am now convinced the next sign of the Apocalypse are these shoes. I know you have seen them or are familiar with them. They are usually on little kids. You know the ones, the ankle biters that are crashing a shopping cart into you when you’re in the canned food aisle deciding between organic black beans and Bush’s Baked Beans with added love and goodness. Now if things aren’t bad enough, they are gliding around stores, down streets, weaving between people in Starbucks like Linda Blair on crack. I want to break every pair of these demon shoes I can find and then stick the head of every parent that purchased them down the nearest toilet and flush. Multiple times.
These shoes are a menace. Aren’t little kids quick enough without giving them stealth wheels? I think since they look like a shoe and not like a skate, kids are more likely to misbehave when wearing them. They just slide around on the heel wheel, trying to look nonchalant, however these demon skates don’t have the control of a larger skate and they usually fly into you like they are a ball in a demented arcade game.
I just hope that the next time they come up with some new thing it isn’t that flying skateboard from Back to the Future. That would be REALLY annoying.