The Schipperke Next Door: A Sign of the Apocalypse
What is a Schipperke (Skipper key)? Well, it is a dog. A Belgian dog. A small black dog with a fox face, J-Lo booty and the entitled attitude of Tara Reid on a bender after mowing down sixteen pedestrians in her SUV. They are hyper, yappy and I haven’t met one yet that couldn’t double as a boat float.
Why all the yappy dog, Schipperke hate this morning? I live in a condo and there is a furry hell ball next door. I know, I don’t have to live with him. I don’t have to deal with the yapping and the biting and the attacking of the front door but there is something I do have to deal with. The pee. Yeah, it seems he can’t even wait to get downstairs to do his business and will pee in the elevator. There I was, minding my own business when I step into … a puddle of pee.
How do I know it was the demon dog that did it? I had just come up on the elevator as I had forgotten something in my condo. The elevator was clean. The rat dog and his handler went down. I waited until after they left because I really didn’t want to be in a confined space with a whirling dervish of teeth and fur. When the elevator came back up, I stepped in and … yeah. CSI tests not withstanding, I am pretty sure the dog peed in the elevator.
I know, you Schipperke fans out there are saying “It’s just one dog. They aren’t all like that!” Perhaps but I do know someone else who has one of these big bottom dogs and if anything it is more annoying than the pee monster next door. This one bites, yaps and even ate Boba Fett. Yes, this demon dog from Hell ate the Star Wars bounty hunter. That should tell you something! Fine! Mr. Fett was an action figure but still! That dog is mean.
I know puppies are all cuddle and cute and I adore dogs but some are just annoying a-holes. Just like people. So todays question is “What are your demon dog stories?” Is there a yippy dog in your life you’d like to use as a boat float? Inquiring minds want to know.