Lindsay Lohan Is A Lesbian Twilight Vampire

This is my third entry in what I have titled “Whack-a-doodle Wednesday”. I’m doing this for the month of July but might bring it back at a later date since there are soooo many car wrecks out there, most with the word Twilight on them.  So today,according to our favorite Wednesday Whack-a-doodle – Abe, Lindsay Lohan is a lipstick lesbian vampire.  Face it, she’s not butch – look at the shoes.  Let’s hear what he (and the voices in his head) have to say.  As always, his poor spelling and idiot theories are copied exactly as he wrote them:


“I knewed it. Take a good look at the picture. Look at it! The movie Twilight is corrupting our youth to do blood rituals and abortion orgies. The latest person to try to help spread this demonic following to our youth is a Hollywood flussy named Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan is famous for being a flickering licksinned lesbian and teasing men’s satan scepters by doing sick nude photos where she showed her bared milks for all to see. If that was not vile enough, she is now helping to spread a gay vampire agenda as you see in my evidence.

Friends, there is nothing holy or good about vampires. Ever since Twilight came out, teen death and drug use has increased ten fold in our schools. Swine flu is spreading through university campuses and killing students by the 100s and soon 1000s! It’s just like the plague all over again, I wonder why?

You want the answer? Lesbian vampires and Twilight!

Here you me. If I had it my way, I would organize everyone in town and make Mr. J.K. Rowling of Twilight fame come to our court! We would vote him guilty for tempting children to bite each other in the neck and then tempting more boys and girls to come with their “friendly lesbian” vampire agents on twitters.

Friends, celebrity girls now think it’s okay to participate in the Twilight death culture. Your daughters look up to girls like Lidnsay Lohan and media is just letting her courrpt their innocent minds. It is time for parents to take charge and FORBID TWILIGHT!

There is a sick new Twilight movie coming out where the vampires and wolves have bestials gay agenda sex! They want to show this filth to your children and then teach them that drinking a little bit of each other’s blood is all happy and fun games!

I do not know about you, but as a loving parent my heart would be sad to find my kin done gone and died of chlamydial AIDS because they were playing vampires with their little Hollywood emulating friends. Ban Twilight! Ban it!”


Wow, there is so much wrong in that I don’t even know where to start.  You know, this almost makes me feel sorry for all the douchy Twilight vampires.  Almost.  To be honest, the more I looked at this website, the more I am convinced it is a total put on.  Hell, these articles get millions of hits.  Yeah.  This gives me an idea.  If I write whack-a-doodle insanity, tell everyone I’m living in a cave in Montana, maybe I can get this kind of traffic.  So, yeah, I do think it’s a put on but it’s still funny in a whack-a-doodle way!

I want to give a shout out to Anastasia Leigh for the awesome butterfly border I wontonly snagged from her Facebook page.  She is awesome.  Everybody wave!

Posted on July 21, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Lindsay Lohan is famous for being a flickering licksinned lesbian and teasing men’s satan scepters by doing sick nude photos where she showed her bared milks for all to see.

    Are you going to be posting these photos? I can’t find them on the internet to see if this is legit or not.

    • Thran! Welcome to the insanity! Personally I have been looking for these as well. I admit I just like the phrase “satan scepters” and plan to use it as often as I can now. If I find those pics, you’ll be the first to know.

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