Want Some Weekend Fun? – Enter The Flying Monkeys!

Perhaps you haven’t noticed but we are fascinated by pirates lately.  Granted, Disney kicked off the viral Captain Jack Sparrow phenomenon but pirates have been a staple for Halloween costumes, books and movies for quite some time.  Why is that?  I’m really not sure.  Perhaps it’s the swashbuckling coolness Errol Flynn brought to the silver screen all those years ago.  The pirates we dress like today are not real pirates.  Real pirates were rapists, murderers and criminals of the worst kind.  There was a good reason the penalty for piracy was hanging.  But today, pirates have undergone a make-over and made them good, clean fun or at least in the case of Captain Jack – good drag queen fun.

I admit I was never much into pirates as a kid.  I was a Princess girl and pirates were too tomboyish for me.  My first ride on Pirates of the Caribbean when I was eight was memorable in that I spent the time during the ship fight with my head in my mother’s lap.  I peeked through my fingers but it was still loud and scary.  Though I must admit I did love the red-head prostitute in the village square being sold off to a bunch of gross, hairy, drunk guys.  Yes, I did know she was a prostitute when I was 8 years old and didn’t care.  She was the pretty, glamorous one.  Perhaps that’s what started me on my career of corset wearing?

Anyway, growing up I never dressed like a pirate for Halloween and was never into pirate movies until Captain Jack swaggered onto the scene with his kohl lined eyes and his Keith Richards affectations.  Now what do you think I am doing this weekend?  Dressing like a Pirate!

For the 4th year in a row, the bay area is host to the largest pirate festival in the nation AND to make it all the better – its FREE!!!!  Well the food isn’t free, the beer isn’t free and the women sure as hell are not free BUT you can bring your whole family, get into the festival and not pay a thing, not even for parking!  Where is this magical place you may ask?  It’s next to the Ferry Terminal in Vallejo so if you are in The City you can… TAKE THE FERRY!  It’s the perfect plan!  Take the ferry, get stink ass drunk, take the ferry back, take BART, stagger home.  What a deal!  Honestly it’s a fun time.  To prove it, here I am with my friend Renee and our flying monkeys from the Festival last year.

Stand & Deliver or ye get it with the monkey!

Yeah, that’s me on the right, dressed like a pirate and threatening random people with a flying monkey that shrieks when you shoot it.  Now how fun is that?!  You too can have your own flying monkey!  They are available for purchase or you can win one like I did playing “Pirate Dice” at Captain Jack Spareribs booth.

This festival is a whirlwind of pirate fun!  The food is amazing and there are healthy options as well.  No cotton candy crap and carnival food nastiness at this show!  What kid doesn’t like a grilled cheese sandwich or some fudge?  What adult doesn’t like grilled meat or fresh seafood?  My favs are the tri-tip sandwich, the fresh oysters, the rum cake.. with extra rum, and any of the candies from Artisan Candies (though I must admit I am partial to Smores on a Stick).  My only suggestion is to eat early or later as the food court area tends to fill during prime lunch time.

The festival also features first class entertainment.  They have a ton of pirate themed bands/singing groups though my favs are The Seadogs.  They have shows for kids.  The interactive kids show with Captain Kidd & Nellie where they have the kids act out Treasure Island is a ton of fun.  There are also lots of things you can buy and not all of them are expensive.  There are live ship battles in the estuary which everyone likes because who doesn’t like being shot at with a cannon with no chance of having the ball smoosh you or destroy your town?  And if that wasn’t enough, on Saturday the Guinness Book of World Records will be there as we break the record for “most fake pirates in one place” or something like that.

You can get all the information you need at the Northern California Pirate Festival website: http://www.norcalpiratefestival.com/

You can find me at one of the Amsbury booths (either beads or their Pirate Gear).  I’ll be wearing basically what you see in the picture except I think I’m going for a pirate skirt this time.  The pants don’t stay up.  I hate hip huggers that threaten to moon everyone at any moment.  Come by and say Howdy!  I expect to see each and every one of my 5 readers there!  You really have no choice now.  It’s free, there’s beer, there’s me and flying monkeys!  How can you lose?

Posted on June 18, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Heh, make that six readers. I love your writing!

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