Stephen Baldwin & God Need Money – Donate Today!

Should we really be giving money to Stephen Baldwin just because he is now “born again” and people “make fun of him” when there are kids dying every day because they don’t have clean water to drink? I didn’t think so.

What am I talking about?  Oh, you didn’t hear?  Sit down.  No really, you need to sit down for this.  It seems that some moron with assets and a ton of time on his hands, put together a website in order to solicit donations for Stephen Baldwins personal use.  It seems Stephen had to declare bankruptcy, is now poor, can’t pay his bills, all because he decided to be “born again” and because he loves God & Christ he can’t get work and people make fun of him.

http://www.allthatknowhim.org/qa.html

Yeah.  Right.  You know, there are a ton of very “out there for God” people in Hollywood that make butt loads of money. Mel Gibson comes to mind right away and Tom Cruise, even though he isn’t into God but aliens who are living in his head but that is another story.

So now this website comes along to solicit money for Stephen because GOD WANTS YOU TO!  Because Stephen is like Job, from the Bible.  You know, the one that got shit on in a pissing match between God & Satan on whether Job is really devout or whether he just praises God because he is rich.  Read the story for what happens to Job but suffice it to say his life goes to hell in a handbasket but he doesn’t give up his faith. Now here is how it relates to this idiot website.  As a reward for God winning this moron bet/discussion/etc with Satan, God gives Job back everything!  Another house, replacement kids (who are better looking than the old ones) and DOUBLE THE MONEY HE HAD BEFORE!

This website wants you to believe that Stephen Baldwin is like Job!  That he was shit on by Satan (the evil populace out there that mock him and make fun of him).  His wealth, house and livelihood were taken away solely because he was totally into God and because of this, all of us hard-working, non-celebrity patsies should GIVE HIM MONEY!  LOTS OF MONEY!  DOUBLE THE MONEY HE LOST and then God will love us or something.

Stephen Baldwin, while having a very B-list career, has made a ton of money.  Just because he decided to blow it on drugs and houses he could not afford, does not make this our problem.  Nor is it Gods problem.  No one held a gun to his head and made him do drugs or buy a million dollar mansion.  There are TONS of people, without famous rich families, who have had to declare bankruptcy through no fault of their own and do they get their own website begging for cash?  NO!

I know, Stephen Baldwin didn’t put up the website but he isn’t telling this guy to take it down either!

I decided to go right to the source or rather the Son of the Source and asked my fiance Jesus what he thought about this.  I showed him the link and after he coughed Pepsi out of his nose, he made the following quite clear –

* Stephen Baldwin is a douche.  He made his own decisions and choices.  He needs to work towards the betterment of his own soul by himself.  Blaming other people for your lack of talent and good choices is stupid and makes God laugh at you as well.

* God the Father really regrets that whole Job thing.  He was trying to prove a point regarding the existence of evil in the world, the nature of suffering and how God can allow these things to happen.  He realizes he may have gotten a little carried away by giving Satan free rein to trash this guys life so bad, especially what happened to his kids since they had nothing to do with their Dad’s baggage.  He blames it on some really strong Jungle Juice that Satan brought with him and notes there was a good reason he was kicked out of heaven in the first place.  That shit just muddles your brain and gives you one hell of a hangover the next day.

* No one should be wasting their hard-earned money on Stephen Baldwin.  Charity is a good thing.  Give to your local shelter, volunteer at a food bank, give to reputable organizations to get clean water to villages in Africa.  There are many people FAR more deserving of your money and your time.

I should also say if you donate to this deluded scam, you deserve everything that Satan throws at you later.  Honestly, do something good.  Don’t drink Satan’s jungle juice!

Posted on June 7, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. a fool and his money are soon parted

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