Cheese Rolling – A Way Out of Economic Depression?

I had a dream.  Not the kind unfortunately where everyone comes together, behaves like decent human beings, holds hands and sings Kumbaya.  No, I had a dream about cheese rolling.  Yes, last night I dreamed I should write about cheese rolling in San Francisco.  Unfortunately when the clear light of day dawned I realized there was no cheese rolling in San Francisco.

Cheese rolling exists, don’t get me wrong, but it is a British thing as evidenced by

(I love the fact you really get a good look at Borat around 1:45 as well as a cow… sort of) for the Official Cheese Rolling Facts.

Gloucestershire has been rolling the cheese for hundreds of years.  Someone back in the annals of time thought it would be a good idea to chuck a wheel of hard Double Gloucester cheese down a hill, giving the wheel a second head start, and then sending strapping young lads careening after it.  Whoever crosses the finish line first gets the cheese because with a round of cheese traveling at speeds of up to 70 MPH, it is unlikely that any long-legged monkey is going to catch it.

In the tradition of other British sports such as football (rugby) sheep tossing and tiddlewinks, injuries and fights abound.  Yay!  I figure it is a little like Hockey but on grass and without the sticks and with dairy products.  So why the talk of the cheese?

I think San Francisco should get on the band wagon and have our own cheese roll.  No, think about it – we already do many weird things in the name of fundraising such as the Bay to Breakers race.  Why not cheese?  We could raise money for the City coffers by charging an entrance fee, sell official souvenirs such as “The Cheese Cut Me” or some such AND to make it even better than the British we can do it on Lombard Street.

I know, I know, those poor people have it bad enough already with the ton of tourist buses and looky loos that inhabit that area 24/7 BUT they knew what they were getting into when they bought their house!  How could they not?  You are living on the world-famous “Crookedest Street in the World”.  It’s the San Francisco equivalent to the largest ball of string. In case you’ve been living in a hole:

We could set up giant inflatable barriers so people wouldn’t be flying into houses or cars and the course would be more challenging because of the cement.  No whimpy grass for us!  We are ‘Mericans!  We can chase cheese on bone breaking asphalt!  We can have different races, courses, age categories.  It is a cash cow I tell ya!

I say if you want to support your City, you need to get behind the Big Cheese!

Posted on May 5, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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